


Hope Reignited

by Pandora151



Series: The Journey of the Lights [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: (sort of), Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Chronic Illness, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:47:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25454167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandora151/pseuds/Pandora151
Summary: The Force was too loud—more and more Jedi were returning to the Temple in the wake of the end of the war, and the Force itself responded, transitioning into a complicatedly beautiful tangle of thoughts and emotions and lights intertwining into one.Ahsoka was able to use her natural shielding to protect herself from the onslaught of returning presences.Obi-Wan wasn’t so lucky.
Relationships: Bant Eerin & Ahsoka Tano, Bant Eerin & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano
Series: The Journey of the Lights [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/805995
Comments: 18
Kudos: 121





	Hope Reignited

**Author's Note:**

> Woah, it's been a while since I updated this series!
> 
> A few things to note:
> 
> Firstly, if you're here and you _haven't_ read Drifting Starlight, please go read that first! This fic will not make sense if you haven't read it. It's part 2 of the Journey of the Lights series.
> 
> Secondly, this fic takes place a few days after the end of Drifting Starlight. It does slightly tie in to Shifting Shadows, but you don't need to read that to understand this.
> 
> Thirdly, for anyone who's reading/wondering what happened with Shifting Shadows, I have been very stuck on the chapter, and the fic overall, if I'm being honest. I can't say when it will be updated, but I promise that I am working on it and I hope to figure it out soon.
> 
> Anyways, back to this fic. Enjoy! :)

The first few days went by rather quickly.

Ahsoka was still behind on her classes, and since Obi-Wan hadn’t been released from the Halls yet, she found herself dividing her time between studying in the classrooms or the Archives, visiting Obi-Wan in the Halls, or spending time by herself in the apartment.

Obi-Wan was discharged two days after taking Ahsoka as his Padawan, and soon Ahsoka’s frequent visits to the Halls disappeared, allowing her to come back to the apartment and settle back into a life of relative normalcy.

The apartment was a lot quieter than it used to be, and it was a lot more empty.

Sometime before he left, Anakin had taken all of his belongings, which meant that the droid parts that usually littered the tables in the common area were gone, replaced with simple tablecloths that she assumed Obi-Wan picked up from the quartermaster.

Gone were all of Anakin’s podracing posters, along with the mechanical tools scattered about the apartment.However, Anakin did leave behind a tiny droid in one of the drawers, telling Ahsoka that it was a small memento from his time as Obi-Wan’s Padawan.

She treasured it, keeping the droid hidden in its drawer and occasionally pulling it out to fiddle with it.Anakin’s Force presence remained strongly intertwined within the droid’s machinery, and she found it comforting, especially when she missed him.

While Obi-Wan was still recovering from the coma and the illness that followed, he seemed to be in much brighter spirits since coming home from the Halls.He spent most of his time in the apartment, attending Council meetings, or just walking around the Temple.

Ahsoka would often see Obi-Wan drinking tea in the morning, usually sitting by the balcony and looking out at Coruscant’s morning traffic.There would be a plate of breakfast waiting for her on the counter, which was something she rapidly came to appreciate, since Anakin’s cooking skills were pretty much nonexistent.

By the time she’d come home, Obi-Wan would suggest that they either cook something and watch a holo or go eat dinner out with Anakin and Padmé, depending on their schedule and how late it was.

Each day was progressively getting better and better, and soon, Ahsoka found herself happier than she had been in a long time, settling into an easy schedule.Now that the war was over, she found herself enjoying the simplicity of classes and lightsaber forms, of just… _training_.

The balance was good; it treated her well.

A little over a week after Obi-Wan was discharged from the Halls, Ahsoka woke up to complete silence in the apartment.The Force was just as silent, scraping eerily in her mind.

She quickly got dressed and shuffled out of her room.

“Master?” she called, voice quiet.

Silence.

The common area was empty, as was the chair by the balcony.

Breathing slowly, Ahsoka turned towards Obi-Wan’s bedroom door, noticing that it was firmly closed.She walked to the door slowly and knocked quietly.

“Master?” she said, keeping her voice quiet.

No response, though she was fairly sure she could sense his Force presence beyond the door, shuddering and _exhausted_ , but definitely awake.

Something was wrong, and Ahsoka felt her heart beginning to race in her chest.

_Oh, Force, what if he’s sick again, or dying?I can’t lose him, not like this, not after everything that just happened…_

With that thought, she pushed the door open, squinting into the dark room at the lump hidden under the covers.

“Master?” she repeated, taking a few slow steps forward.

“Please leave.”Obi-Wan’s voice was hoarse and unfamiliar, muffled by the blankets he kept over his face.A shudder appeared to wrack through him as the blankets shifted, the Force shaking immediately in response.

“Something’s wrong,” Ahsoka murmured, and she stopped next to the bed, uncertain.

She reached out into the Force, feeling a sort of deep discomfort emanating from Obi-Wan’s Force presence, twisting and curling painfully along the edges of his fragile mental shields.

“Ahsoka, _please_.” Obi-Wan’s voice was a strangled whisper, unfamiliar and painful to her own ears.

“Just tell me what’s wrong,” she pleaded, voice cracking.She couldn’t bear to see him like this, especially after so many good days, after believing that things were _finally_ going to be alright.“Do you need a Healer?I can call Master Che, or Bant, or—”

Obi-Wan shuddered again as the blanket covering his face seemed to stretch and tighten, separating himself even more from the world than before.The sound of uneven breathing echoed through the room, sending ice into her veins.

Silence stretched between them, and for a moment, Ahsoka was sure that Obi-Wan wouldn’t respond.She considered turning around and calling Master Che for help; the Master Healer was well-versed with what Obi-Wan was facing and would likely have an answer.

Before she could turn around and leave, Obi-Wan replied, surprising her.

“It’s— _too_ much; too loud.”

Tilting her head, Ahsoka stretched out her senses.Togrutas had better hearing than humans, but maybe Obi-Wan was getting distracted by something she hadn’t yet noticed?

“Force.”Obi-Wan’s muffled voice rasped in his throat, and immediately she realized.

The Force was too loud—more and more Jedi were returning to the Temple in the wake of the end of the war, and the Force itself responded, transitioning into a complicatedly beautiful tangle of thoughts and emotions and lights intertwining into one.

Ahsoka was able to use her natural shielding to protect herself from the onslaught of returning presences, most of them still reeling from the shock of Order 66 and the deaths that followed.With her shielding, she barely noticed it.

Obi-Wan wasn’t so lucky.His newly-built shields were fragile, temporary, from what he’d told her earlier.And they appeared to not be enough to protect his still-healing mind from the onslaught.

No wonder he wanted to be alone—Ahsoka was only making matters worse by approaching him.

Obi-Wan’s breaths grew more and more uneven, a rattling sound echoing through the room, causing Ahsoka’s worry to escalate sharply.

_This is bad—really, really bad._

“Sorry,” she whispered, desperately wrangling her own mind to exude some sort of calmness into the Force.She took a step backwards and spun around, quickly leaving the room.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Ahsoka sank to her knees, closing her eyes and struggling to get her own breathing under control.

A minute passed, then another.She could feel Obi-Wan’s presence more easily now, the roiling discomfort evidenced by the trembling of their bond.

Ahsoka brought herself to her feet, racing back into her room, where her commlink sat untouched on her bedside table.She picked it up and dialed a frequency.

 _“Eerin here.”_ The voice was quiet and calm, but it did nothing to soothe Ahsoka’s anxiety.

“Master Eerin,” she said, voice trembling, despite all her effort to keep it steady.

Bant’s voice changed sharply. _“Ahsoka?”_ the Healer asked. _“Is something wrong?”_

“It’s Master Kenobi,” she managed.“I’m—I don’t know exactly what to do; his shields aren’t holding, and I think he’s having trouble breathing, but I’m not sure, I—”

Bant cursed loudly, and Ahsoka heard shuffling sounds through her commlink, as though Bant was moving quickly.

 _“I’m on the way,”_ Bant said, voice urgent. _“You need to sit with him and try to keep yourself calm—I know it’s difficult, Ahsoka, but I’m only a few minutes away.”_

Ahsoka nodded slowly.“Okay, just—hurry, Master,” she murmured.

The Healer gave her assent, and Ahsoka clicked her commlink off, moving back towards Obi-Wan’s room.She took a deep breath and willed the frenzied anxiety in her mind to drift away into the Force, leaving her presence soft and quiet.

Then, she walked in.

Obi-Wan had rolled onto his side, turned away from her, and his breaths were even more raspy and uneven.Ahsoka desperately wanted to turn around and run away from the sight of it.She had no idea what to do, and this was so unexpected, so _sudden._

Ahsoka walked towards Obi-Wan, sitting on the side of the bed quietly and reaching deeply into the Force.She reached for the quietness, the calm that she knew resided in the Force since the war had ended.Then, she brought the calmness onto her own presence, letting it emanate strongly enough to push against Obi-Wan’s mind in what she hoped was a comforting way.

Obi-Wan shuddered quietly, still turned away from her, breaths uneven and rattling.

“I’m here,” she whispered, and she tentatively reached a hand forward, eventually resting it on Obi-Wan’s shoulder.

A stronger shudder wracked his frame as he rolled onto his back, coughing, the blanket falling away from his face.His face was red, tears streaming out of his eyes.Blue-grey eyes met hers, wild and desperate, almost _frantic_.

 _This is scaring him, too,_ she realized, and she released that thought into the Force, along with any anxiety that came with it.

She needed to stay calm.

“It’s alright,” she said.“Bant’s coming.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes squeezed shut as he trembled, teeth chattering.His fingers curled as an immense wave of discomfort seemed to pass through him.A series of ragged gasps and coughs escaped him, and she felt frantic alarm shoot into the Force, nearly overwhelming her senses.

“Ah— _soka_.”

Ahsoka placed her hand firmly on his shoulder again, keeping her presence calm and stable.

“It’s alright,” she repeated, voice quiet.“Just hold on.”

Obi-Wan nodded slowly, teeth gritting as she felt his body shake again.

Ahsoka heard the door open behind her, but she kept herself still and focused, unable to react in any way that would break the calmness that she kept carefully wrapped around herself.

She heard a series of quiet but purposeful footsteps, then Ahsoka caught sight of Bant sitting down on the other side of the bed.

“Obi-Wan?” the Mon Calamari healer whispered, gently taking Obi-Wan’s wrist in her hand.

Obi-Wan’s eyes opened with a strangled moan, his breaths hoarse and uneven, still rattling.His eyes shifted to Bant’s, tears slipping down his cheeks into his beard.

“I have an oxygen mask and a sedative,” Bant murmured, dropping the wrist and placing a gentle hand on Obi-Wan’s arm.“It should help.”

At Obi-Wan’s quiet nod, Bant looked at Ahsoka, and Ahsoka stood.

“I’ll be outside,” Ahsoka said quietly.

Obi-Wan’s hand grabbed at hers and squeezed lightly, his eyes bright with sorrow and worry.

She smiled softly.“It’s alright,” she said again.“We’ll talk later.”

Another nod as Obi-Wan’s grip on her hand loosened, then his eyes squeezed shut as he gasped again, back arching.

Ahsoka ached to stay, but Bant was already setting the oxygen mask over his face and hooking it up to a machine.At the sight of it, she swallowed, mind flashing back to just over a week ago, when Obi-Wan was in the coma and nothing seemed like it was going to be the same ever again.

The Force trembled.

At the realization that she’d broken the calmness that had settled into the room, Ahsoka spun around and left.

She sank down to her knees as soon as the door closed behind her, tears immediately spilling from her eyes.The common area of the quarters blurred into a grey mass as she sobbed, pressing her forehead to her knees.

Ahsoka didn’t know how long she sat there, rocking back and forth, but as her tears subsided, the door opened behind her and Bant shuffled out, looking as shaken as Ahsoka felt.

The Healer let out a quiet exhale, moving towards the well-worn couch nearby and sitting down.

Ahsoka pulled herself to her feet and followed, sitting down next to Bant.

“How is he?” she asked softly, voice cracking.

“Sleeping,” Bant replied.“I helped him set up some stronger shields, but I don’t know if they’ll be enough.”

The Healer sighed and sat back.“He’ll likely be very tired over the next few days, but proper sleep and meditation should help,” she continued, voice quiet.Then, she looked at Ahsoka, eyes bright with concern.“I know this is a lot more than you had asked for, Ahsoka.Are you doing alright?”

Ahsoka sighed softly, looking down, away from Bant’s gaze.“Up until today, things were good— _really_ good,” she admitted.“But this…for a moment, I thought Obi-Wan was dying again.”

She blinked, thinking back to the moment she walked into Palpatine’s office, seeing Obi-Wan’s body flat on the ground, fresh blood still streaming out of his nose and mouth.She remembered feeling his death ringing—with _finality—_ into the Force, and she remembered the Force recoiling in shock, in mournful balance.

“You have been through a lot, Ahsoka,” Bant said, reaching forward to place a hand on her shoulder.“And things are going to continue to feel like they’re changing for a while.”

Ahsoka nodded.“It doesn’t feel real,” she admitted.“I feel like I’m gonna wake up, and it’s just gonna be me and Anakin again, and the war will be out there, and…”Her voice trailed off.

“Would it be alright if I set you up with a mind healer?” Bant asked, voice pensive.“I just want to make sure you have a good support system, and I think it would help if you had someone to talk to, besides your friends and besides Obi-Wan—someone who isn’t really involved with everything that just happened.”

The mind healers were generally a quiet presence in the Temple.Ahsoka didn’t really know much about them, though she’d heard Barriss talk about them a few times.

At Ahsoka’s hesitation, Bant smiled softly, her presence in the Force bright and warm.

“Just think about it, alright?” she said.“That’s all I ask.”

Ahsoka nodded slowly.“I’ll think about it,” she replied.“Thank you, Master Eerin.”She looked at the chrono and sighed—class was about to start in fifteen minutes.

Bant seemed to read her mind.“I’ll stay here for a few hours; don’t worry,” she said.“Go take a break from…” She gestured around the apartment.“…all of this.You need it.”

Tears began to burn behind her eyelids, but Ahsoka blinked them away, taking a few deep breaths.She nodded slowly.

“Thank you, Master,” she repeated, and she walked back into her room to grab her bag before heading out for the day, heart pounding in her chest.

* * *

In a few short hours, classes ended, and Ahsoka found herself standing outside the apartment door, unsure of what would await her inside.

_Breathe._

Ahsoka took a deep breath, followed by another.She carefully released her emotions out into the Force, letting the quiet calm settle over her nerves before she pushed the button on the side of the door.

The door slid open, and Ahsoka walked in.

She spotted Obi-Wan sitting on the couch, legs propped on an ottoman.His head turned to face her, eyes bright.

“Ahsoka,” he rasped, standing slowly.A hand remained pressed onto the top of one of the couch’s back pillows.On the side table next to the couch, she saw an inhaler.

Obi-Wan’s eyes lowered.“That’s in case it happens again,” he said, and Ahsoka walked closer, sitting down next to him.Obi-Wan followed suit with a grateful sigh, folding his hands in his lap.

She swallowed.“Are you alright?” she asked.

Ahsoka could practically hear the gears in Obi-Wan’s head turning.He paused, eyes drifting away to focus on the corner of the table before them.The fact that it was taking him this long to respond meant something of significance, and that… _worried_ her.

She couldn’t lose him—not after everything that happened.

“No,” Obi-Wan said softly.“I’m—”

He cut himself off with a harsh exhale, eyebrows furrowing slightly.Ahsoka watched as he took a deep breath, followed by another one that shook at the end.Then, in a single, quiet motion, he let his head fall into his hands.His shoulders shook.

Ahsoka’s heart twisted.She launched herself forwards, wrapping her arms around Obi-Wan’s shoulders.

Obi-Wan froze for a single moment before he melted into the hug, his forehead falling forward onto Ahsoka’s shoulder with a desperate cry.

He trembled, and she felt dampness forming onto her sleeve.Tears sprung to her own eyes, and she buried her head into Obi-Wan’s shoulder, shuddering.

She’d always thought that Obi-Wan, while not completely emotionless, was very quiet about how he felt, even in the face of terrible odds.However, he was now making loud, gasping sobs, and Ahsoka found herself stunned by hearing them.

Obi-Wan shook violently, and she forced herself to close her eyes and focus on staying calm.

“It’s alright,” she whispered softly.

She didn’t know how long it took for her own tears to subside, let alone Obi-Wan’s, but some time later, he pulled himself out of the hug and sat back against the couch, clearly spent.

“Sorry,” he murmured, bringing up a trembling hand to scrub at his eyes.

Ahsoka shook her head.“It’s fine.”

“It’s not,” Obi-Wan replied, and he let out a breath, pulling his hand away from his face.“None of this is fair to you, Ahsoka.Maybe you would be better off with Master Plo; I can talk to him—”

“What?”Ahsoka sat up, staring at him indignantly.“No; I told the Council from the very beginning that I wanted you as my Master.Don’t you get it?”

She had waited for weeks and _days_ , refusing to waver for even a second, even when she’d found out that Obi-Wan hadn’t wanted to train her, in the beginning.

“I know,” Obi-Wan said, voice quiet.“But you must understand, Ahsoka, that I am not going to recover.Not completely.And you should be trained by someone who isn’t…broken.”

The last word was a quiet exhale, barely vibrating into her montrals.

“Master, I don’t care about that,” she insisted.“You _already_ taught me so much, even before all of this happened.And now, I think I need to be around people who understand.”

Obi-Wan’s eyebrows furrowed, but he didn’t reply.

“Besides, what are you going to do without me?” she asked.“You shouldn’t be alone, just like me.You would go nuts from the boredom, Master.”

Her Master let out a quiet laugh.

“You’re not wrong about that,” he replied, voice thick.“I just—I worry about your training, Ahsoka.So much has changed for you.”

“Don’t worry,” she said emphatically.“I am not going anywhere, and more importantly, we’ll figure it out.You always have in the past, and now you’ve got me to help you.”

Obi-Wan smiled softly, letting his head sink slightly into the couch.Through his fragile shields, she could feel his exhaustion, rolling easily through their bond.But there was a hint of quiet understanding now, a sense of stability.

Ahsoka smiled, letting the feeling roll through her senses.

The two of them sat in comfortable silence, Obi-Wan closing his eyes in quiet contemplation while Ahsoka stared up at the ceiling, letting her thoughts drift.

For a moment everything felt so right, then—

Her stomach growled.Embarrassed, Ahsoka pressed a hand over it, hoping to somehow stifle the sound.

Obi-Wan’s eyes opened.“Seems like you didn’t get a chance to eat, in all of today’s excitement,” he noted, clearly amused.“We might be better off going to the refectory tonight.I don’t think I can manage cooking or a trip to Dex’s.”

After Dex’s passing and the destruction of his diner, Hermione and FLO had found a new location to re-open. Obi-Wan and Ahsoka had visited the new diner a few days ago for the first time. Even though the food was slightly different, they still enjoyed it.

Ahsoka had a feeling that Obi-Wan still mourned Dex, considering he had known him since he was a Padawan.

“Do you think Dex delivers?” she mused, suddenly feeling a need to have one of those really greasy burgers.“Or take-out, at least?”

Obi-Wan hummed.“If you ask nicely, probably,” he mumbled, closing his eyes.

Ahsoka chuckled, standing up quickly.“I’ll go ahead and do that,” she said.“Do you want the same thing as usual?”

Obi-Wan murmured an affirmative, clearly too exhausted to say anything more.Ahsoka smiled softly and walked into the kitchen to contact Hermione.

By the time she returned, Obi-Wan was fully asleep on the couch, snoring lightly.

She smiled, sitting herself down in the smaller couch.

Obi-Wan was right—a lot has changed, and Ahsoka was still reeling from all of it.

 _“Trust in the Force,”_ the wind whispered, an echo of Master Qui-Gon’s voice.

“I will,” she murmured, smiling softly.“Thank you, Master.”

She felt a hint of warmth in the Force before the ghostly presence faded back into the depths of the Force.

Ahsoka had no idea what the future would bring, but right now, in this exact moment, she felt as though there was hope.

And because of that hope, she knew for a fact that everything was going to be alright, no matter what.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Like I said before, I'm doing my best with Shifting Shadows, so hopefully I can get that next chapter out to you soon :)
> 
> Please leave a comment on your way out!
> 
> UPDATE 8/8/2020: I originally wrote this with Ahsoka contacting Dex (because I totally forgot that he died in Drifting Starlight, oof) instead of Hermione, so I have updated this slightly to reflect that. Thank you! :)


End file.
